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Second Term Presidencies and Marriage Problems: When the Honeymoon Ends |
by Dr. Max Vogt, The Great Relationship Coach
Second term Presidents usually have such a hard time and have been historically cursed with political angst and turmoil.
They attempt to implement lessons learned from mistakes and weaknesses of the first term--yet they
usually end up with more than standard political conflicts despite their efforts.
Often the public agandons them--even their staunchest supporters.
In their attempt to forge a lasting legacy, many
have not fared well, finding their ability to persuade Congress diminishing by the day and having their agendas frustrated by events or scandals.
Second term Presidents have been cursed with political angst and turmoil and seem to have worse luck than the Chicago Cubs
It's just like marriage, or what happens in a very large number of marriages.
All marriages which last for more than a couple of years have at least one period of critical disappointment--which according to statistics end up in divorce.
As a couples therapist I can tell you that very many marriages which don't end up in legal divorces certainly end up in emotional divorces anyway.
Why does something with so much hope and vision tend to end up with disappointment and disillusionment?
The answer lies in that last word, "disillusionment."
It comes about when the object of your hope or idealization comes down to earth--and you find out they are a little flawed, or very, very flawed.
Most marriages, just like political zealotry, become very rigid and brittle in their resources to handle disillusionment.
We just want what we thought was wonderful to keep on being wonderful.
And as individuals we certainly don't want to change, or "wake up and smell the coffee."
Our president is simply doing what most people do in their marriages. We tend to blame the other person and see him or her as the problem...while we view our own actions and attitudes as righteous and "sane."
This is why so little true change comes to marriages and even less change comes to politics.
When it comes to dealing with disillusionment everybody has the same very wrong conslusions. I'm right and the other person is wrong.
"It's the other person" causing the problems. Our cause is noble and justified.
That's not the way you get over political disillusionment and it's not the way you get over marriage disillusionment.
The correct place to start is asking "what have I done to create this problem," and then finding out how YOU can change...not insisting that the other person change.
As true in politics, business, sports, friendships, as it is in marriages.
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Dr. Max Vogt is the Great Relationship Coach:
Great Relationship Advice
Dr. Max Vogt is "The Great Relationship Coach." His blog is at <A HREF="http://www.askdoctormax.com" TARGET="_blank">Great Relationship Advice</A>
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